In Devizes Gaol

Come all good people, give ear I pray,
And list to what I have to say.
To my misfortunes great and small,
Come list, and I will tell you all.
I used to live such a jovial life,
I was free from trouble and far from strife.
I'd go to bed and fall asleep,
No evil spirits around me creep.
But the okes and pokes and the Cupid's gad!
They nearly drove me raving mad.
They put me in a railroad mail,
And whipped me off to Devizes Gaol.

Chorus

Right about face! Turn out your toes!
Keep a full chest and away you goes.
That's the place to make you quail,
There's curious doings in Devizes Gaol.

Now, when we got to the end of our route,
The turnkey turned my pockets out.
To see whether I'd got any such stuff,
As blunt tobacco, victuals or snuff.
They took me in to take my size,
The colour of my hair and of my eyes.
The length of my nose from root to tip,
To see whether I'd more than one top lip.
At half past four one came and said -
'It's nearly time to go to bed.'
The old turnkey was stiff as starch,
Said, 'Right wheel! Left' and then, 'Quick march.'

Chorus

We did and we caused a furious rush,
We were like monkeys running round a bush.
There was clattering of clogs and clinking of keys,
Croaking of bellies and shaking of knees,
Cursing the beds as hard as nails,
'Twould starve old Nick in Devizes Gaol.

At six next morning up we got,
We scrubbed each cell and polished each spot.
They out in the yard we all did lurch,
Till we fell in to go to church.
Such a suit of clothes they made me view,
One arm was yellow and one was blue,
One leg was green, the other gray,
And then the parson came to pray.
He said that Elijah went up in a cloud,
And Lazarus walked about in a shroud,
And Jonah he lived three days in a whale,
He'd better been there than in Devizes Gaol.