Culture is Coming

On January 1st, 2008

on the stroke of midnight we opened  the gates

to expectant Europe , tense with awe

for a new and magical mystery tour.

Sir Paul, still loved at 67,

(along with the youthful ghost of Lennon)

leads daily tours through the city’s streets

- where lambananas safely bleat -

to St Georges Hall, with its floor licked clean

by some local teenagers on a scheme,

and leads a series of cultured talks

on us learning to eat with knives and forks.

As an encore, footy fans now lurch

through every pub from the bombed out church

to the Pier Head, and back again

in a heady mix of beer and phlegm.

As the council announces some new edicts:

all scousers must carry tickling sticks

and know 4 verses of ‘Liverpool Home’

and no-one can ever walk alone,

Then with song and dance, with mime and rap

we'll all paint Liverpool back on the map

and poets, to celebrate the city’s culture

will struggle for rhymes (other than vulture)

- though it must be said that the money due

might wing its way to the usual few

who’ll retire down south when it’s getting late

on 31st December 2008.