Mr. Allen

Robert Clairmont

 

Mr. Allen is an animal. 

His voice is an after-effect of ether and goes like this, "Hnyuh... 

      hnyuh...hnyuh." 

Mr. Allen is seen on the streets of New York, New York: he hates the        

subways and uses elevateds. 

Mr. Allen would look odd emerging from a Pennsylvania forest in 

      March: his "hnyuh...hnyuh...hnyuh," would sound human

      and terrible.

Mr. Allen has never been in Pennsylvania. 

Although Mr. Allen's hnyuh...hnyuh...hnyuh would be fearful in a    

Pennsylvania forest in March, it is lost in the noises when he sits 

     on the top of an omnibus in New York, New York. 

In no way could Mr. Allen be considered eternal in a drawing-room. 

Mr. Allen should go to Pennsylvania and live in a forest.